And now we have Lululemon in the closet

I bought my first pair of Lululemon pants this week.
I had a lot of trouble going online to shop for them because I just had a feeling at some point someone’s gonna ask for my man card.
Guys, shopping for clothes from a company called Lululemon, seems at first blush to be, well, girlish.
It’s not that I’m not in touch with my feminine side. I think a fully-rounded male should have a certain respect for that, but I gotta say these are the most comfortable pants I think I’ve ever put on.
The brand was created by the enigmatic Chip Wilson who took a yoga clothing brand worldwide in less than a decade. I think he got a start selling skateboards or something in Japan and has somewhat of a checkered past.
My wardrobe is boring. It always has been. I think it has something to do with not wanting to stand out in a crowd. If you see me at an event, I’m usually trying to find a corner or the back of the room. I’m too tall and journalists usually get the stink eye anyway. Unless you’re Chris Duerr. People gravitate to that man with celebrity fame. But he’s a friend and is one of the greatest sports voices in southeast Iowa. If I sit next to him at just the right time, I win by osmosis.
But fleece pullovers, and jeans of different colors have always been my go to out of the closet. But then with family in town over the past two weeks, I noticed a lot wearing these stretchy lycra things that are suppose to “wick” moisture.
I don’t know. I kept asking, but gingerly. I mean, do I really want pants that taper to the ankles. I mean, I’m on the hill as far as age. Take grammatical notice I didn’t say “over the hill”, just on it.
I broke down and ordered a couple pair on holiday clearance. I could feel Kelsey jumping up and down in Heaven when I made the purchase. She and I loved a good clearance rack.
And you know what, I think there are a lot of men out there wearing Lululemon. I’m notoriously about five years behind in any fad. I just now started collecting Pokemon at Central Park (that’s a bit of an exaggeration. I almost got run over on a Kansas City highway walking back to our hotel from a Royals' game several years ago trying to catch a Charizard).
But fashion has always been a wardrobe faux pas for me. I looked in my winter clothes closet the other day. It was almost all dark gray, charcoal with a little purple mixed in. And yes, I have a winter closet now. Bachelor feng shui.
I was getting a little depressed putting on the same outfit with brown outdoor boots on. The baseball cap is usually part of the ensemble, but I needed a break from the mundane.
So I went online and looked up the link my nephew sent me. He’s fanatical about these pants. You can golf in them, work out in them, wear them to a morning meeting and still look like you have some freakin’ clue about wardrobe.
I miss the days of Lee putting on her glasses in the morning and looking to make sure my clothes matched. Most of the time it was a no go, but every now and then you’d get the, “You look nice today.”
She took me through a Joseph A. Bank about eight years ago and made me get a bit more contemporary. I’m glad she did that, but I was never comfortable in them. Jackets and ties and slacks is not me. But Lululemon may just be me.
Of course they are going to have to pass the golf test. Everything has to pass that test, even though I fail it 15 out of 18 holes a round. But now I might just look a little better doing it. And let’s face it, that’s part of the foursome. The best dressed gets the tee box first. That’s not really a rule, and would probably result in more fights on the first tee box.
So, hey. Life’s a little rough out there. We have good days and bad days. We have days where we impact others' lives and days where we just want to hide at home and watch movies all day, have McDonalds deliver a McFlurry and some fries, and wrap it up with a Jameson.
Knowing this day we didn’t offend anyone, but we didn’t herald anyone either. I’m just a dude who’s become more angry as the years pass, but never try to cook in others' kitchens. I write for everyone and try to offend no one. I don’t mind ruffling feathers and holding public officials accountable, while at the same time trying to hold those very people in the best light possible (talk about your balancing acts), but at the very moment I ruin a friends’ family breakfast, it’s time to rethink the whole damn thing.
Aside from all of that, my closet will still have Lululemon – But that’s Beside the Point.
Chuck Vandenberg is editor and co-owner of Pen City Current and can be reached at Charles.V@PenCityCurrent.com.