Sitting in my last-minute hotel room on a colder-than-I-like Saturday afternoon, I find myself alone with the Chiefs/Texans game on.
I planned on a quiet weekend at home catching up on local sports briefs, news, working on a few grants, and figuring out how to navigate this crazy business. My daughter was back for a wedding in Iowa City and she’s battling a wicked flu, but won’t give up the festivities. Kids.
So I’m listening to Joe Buck and Troy Aikman call the game and thinking about muting it again. These two were abysmal last week. Typically I’m okay with both, but last week with Sam Darnold, being, well – a Darnold, I was a little more frustrated than usual.
I’m still torqued off about how the Vikings played last weekend. And the weekend before, and last year, and the last decade, and the last 50 years.
Minnesota hasn’t been to the Super Bowl since 1976 against the Raiders. Talk about your droughts. And now I find out that Minnesota has the most playoff losses in NFL history. Really?
Why do I continue to be a small market fan? I’m a Reds fan, too, and they haven’t been to the World Series since 1990 and that seems like yesterday compared to the purple haze.
I only watched half of the game last week. I knew. I KNOW.
My wife calls me a quitter. I am of sorts. Other Vikings fans I’ve spoken with stuck it out, but I just couldn’t do it. I bet I’ve either spent, or had spent on me, about $50,000 on Vikings crap over the years. From tickets (and the last game I went to in Minnesota we had some TICKETS), to koozies, to blankets, clothes, dishes, underwear, Adrian Peterson signed and mounted jerseys, teddy bear clothes, stocking caps, lids.
They owe me. They OWE ME!
I should get a nice plot of New Jersey real estate from Zigmunt Wilf and his brother for my pain and suffering at the hands of Minnesota's NFL team.
This is the song remains the same. From Favre trying to freakin’ force a pass, which is what you get from Favre in case you’ve forgotten, to Dennis Green being too sheepish to kick a damned field goal, to Peterson fumbling, to Darrin Nelson getting tackled at the 1-yard line. I remember it all.
Even the Cubs have broken their curse and I think it’s time to call this a curse.
It's the Herschel Walker curse. Mike Lynn made a trade with the Cowboys for Herschel Walker that crippled this team for at least a decade. And football karma ensued.
We had the first “greatest show on turf” with Randall Cunningham throwing to Randy Moss, and then the University of Central Florida’s Daunte Culpepper.
I guess it’s not horrible that I know when to just shut it down. You can blame Sam Darnold for holding the ball too long and “seeing ghosts”, but I also blame the offensive line for crappy protection, Kevin O’Connell for being too loving of a head coach. Sometimes you just have to let your players know you’re unhappy with the effort – e.g. Bill Belichick, Andy Reid, Sean Payton, Bill Parcells. I understand being that family-building coach, but sometimes players just fail and they need to be told that. Not coddled.
I’m sure there are people who are saying it’s just a game. Well, yes. It’s just a game and there are bigger problems in the world.
But damnit I’m a Purple People eater. I’m a Skol Bandit. I’ve watched this team go up and down and up and down for more than four decades. They owe me!
It's a personal afront to me when Darnold overthrows three receivers open in the endzone and have someone like Aikman say, “Detroit just gave them all kinds of problems in the redzone”.
NO they DIDN’T. He couldn’t complete a damned pass.
Joe Buck says a Ram made a “strong tackle” for a loss, when the dude just grabbed a foot and tripped the dude.
It was at that point Monday, I turned the volume off. About 10 minutes after Matthew Stafford flicked a ball to the ground and neither got called for a fumble or intentional grounding. So now all we have to do is flip the ball forward when we’re getting a sack and as long as someone with a number on their jersey below 50 is anywhere in the area doing anything it’s an incomplete pass.
And a face mask isn’t really a thing anymore, and hands to the face isn’t a thing anymore. Maybe Minnesota is just too small a market for the NFL to allow a championship.
Nah, we just suck in the playoffs.
I’d rather discuss something relevant to everyone, but I think repeated disappointment is something we’ve all dealt with, especially in the land of the Cubs.
So, I’m going to be the first to say on the record that if Kevin O’Connell doesn’t win a playoff game next year, he’s out as Vikings coach. Because I SAID SO.
What a great dude. A quarterback whisperer. But damnit winning, is winning and losing is losing and you either win or you lose.
My kid says there shouldn’t be a one-and-done in football, but she doesn’t want a best-of-five either. Nah, football is one and done. It’s too hard on the bodies, so Wilfs figure it out because I’m spending $0 next year on Vikings crap. You get nothing from me until I get something from you. And I don’t give two shakes about a 14-2 regular season, when you look so lost in the playoffs.
Get it together, boys. Clock is ticking.
And speaking of getting it together, the basketball in Southeast Iowa is getting better and better as we go. We’ve got three of the top teams in the state in boys' play and Central Lee is getting better and better under Jonny Swanson. It’s been fun watching these folks play, especially against each other. HTC’s win over previously unbeaten West Burlington has been on the Crusaders' checklist for a couple of years now. And the Bloodhounds boys and girls are exciting and athletic as they’ve ever been. Dayton Lamar and Kenden Bowie are highlight reels and Darius Foy is quickly finding his role.
If you aren’t getting out to see these kids play, you’re missing out – But that’s Beside the Point.
Chuck Vandenberg is editor and co-owner of Pen City Current and can be reached at Charles.V@PenCityCurrent.com.
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