I've figured out the anxiety of tree lights

Well, the turkey is smashed into storage plastic for leftovers, or in baggies for the freezer for turkey and noodles over potatoes. Black Friday is over for the most part, the lighted parade is past, Mistletoe on Main Street is in the books, and now the holiday celebration turns to holiday spending.
This year’s prime selling period is shrunk by a few days due to the late date of Thanksgiving and, instead of browsing websites for post-Thanksgiving deals, I’m here on Microsoft Word trying to get my head around how this holiday season is already here.
I Christmas’ed all day Friday with Taylor in town for a couple extra days. We put the tree up and some inside decorations while Elf, Christmas with the Kranks, and National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation played on the big screen.
I actually found all the Christmas ornaments this year. They’re in, like, six tubs downstairs mixed in with lights, stockings, snow globes, yard displays, the Lindbergh baby, painter’s tape, some socket plates, plumbing supplies, and an Easter cookbook.
Each year I get accused of losing an ornament that was inevitably created by one of the girls in second grade. I don’t lose anything, I just frequently don’t know where things are at that moment.
But this year it was all there. I got the thumbs up from Taylor after I uncovered one last small cardboard box sitting on a chair. It had many artsy ornaments created by the kids – probably in second grade.
We put the lights on first without much of a hassle. Typically I’m ready to sit down with a glass of Jameson before the first bundle of lights has been untangled. And how the heck do they get tangled? I mean I roll them up like an extension cord and lay them gently in the transluscent tubs with red or green lids. After I lay each one gently in the tub, thinking that they will be easily manageable next year, I put some wreaths and greenery over the top because you want the weight in the bottom and don’t want to crush the greenery, right?
Every year I pull the wreaths and greenery out and the lights are in some pre-holiday anxiety  litmus test stuck to the greenery and get pulled out in a mess.
Yes, I know there are other options, but the holidays are expensive enough. I’m a mature adult with a somewhat analytical mind. That should work.
Anyway, this year the lights, at least mostly, lit when we tested them. In my house, the white lights go on first and then the colored lights follow. It’s never enough lights. One year we had so many lights on the tree, the stand couldn’t support the weight, and it fell onto the carpet. It was like this tree had done something wrong and the girls wanted it hogtied.
I had to anchor the damn thing with bungee cords and wall hooks. We stopped short of waterboarding it and went about putting on the ornaments. I have a series of NBA players. Mom got all us boys a series. John got football players and, when I help him put up his tree after we eat Taylor’s mayo, lemon, and herb coated bird, I always try to hide the Cowboy players deep in the tree or on the back. Adrian Peterson appropriately goes to the top of the tree – near the star. I’m sure that’s been moved by now.
So we hang all the ornaments, which takes more than an hour to do, and then we set up the Lionel electric train that runs around the tree and the Lemax Christmas Village. Taylor runs the train for a few minutes, blowing the horn as it comes out from the under the tree.
I hang some red bells above the archway in the living room and then we haul all the tubs and the green tree bag big enough to hide a body in, all the way down the stairs back into the basement.
We had just finished this year about 10 minutes before the downtown parade was to start and headed down 6th Street to Avenue G.
It was pretty brisk and Tay’s face was frozen by the time we got down the three blocks. We moved to a packed Boozie Rae’s as most people were smartly hanging out indoors to stay warm before the lighted floats moved west down the street. A few braved the cold. We got a couple holiday spirits and then headed down the street. We stopped and looked into what used to be Faeth’s and were surprised when we only saw the bar still standing.
Then we headed back east as the floats were coming down the street, stopped and talked to a few people along the way, and then headed into Swed Coffee and had hands down the best hot chocolate I’ve ever had. I loaded it with marshmallows, crushed peppermint and mini chocolate candies.
It was full and frothy and the flavors of the add-ons came in waves. First the marshmallow, then the peppermint and finally the chocolate candies were sucked through the small opening in the lid. Not sure what Chris is doing with his hot chocolate, but if you’re down there and he’s got it running – get it.
By the time we got back to 6th Street, Santa was coming down the street. Taylor said, “Merry Christmas Santa", and I said something like, “Shut up- Ralphie!”
I had to take Tay back to the airport early Sunday morning so the holidays will be just a little less sweet for awhile. She’ll be back in a few weeks, but it will be the tree and me for now.
Happy Holidays to all of our readers, advertisers, and partners. We hope the next five weeks are filled with joy, love, great food, memories, and good health. We’re happy we’re here, but that’s Beside the Point.
Chuck Vandenberg is editor and co-owner of Pen City Current and can be reached at Charles.V@PenCityCurrent.com.