It was on Facebook: “Share the albino alligator and you will have good news or money today.” I don't usually plug into this sort of huff, preferring to trust in God, but I thought, “What can it hurt?” So I shared the albino alligator. I'll be darned if I didn't have immediate good news AND money in the mail! Yeah!
One of my insurance clients was in the middle of an insurance nightmare. These things can be awful. I had tried to mitigate it over the phone but failed. So, I visited her. But before I went in, I prayed to God, asking for help. I called into the insurance company and, amazingly, was able to straighten the mess out over the phone. This rarely happens. The client was elated and so was I.
In a situation like this, it usually depends on a couple of things: A. If you can get through to a real person without being sucked into an endless loop, and B. If the person you talk to is in-country. One more thing: try your best to be in a cheery mood (even if you have to fake it) and not get frustrated (it works against you). I was cheery. The person I talked to was Brian in Michigan. It was a Monday morning, which can be dicey, but I put on my best sing-song voice, and it worked. Brian was glad to help out, and straightened up the insurance mess like magic. Far out, man. This was the good news. The client thought I was a hero. I sailed home on cloud nine singing to Sixties music on Sirius XM Radio. I'm serious.
Pulling into our driveway, I checked the mail. There was money in the mail! Far out, again! Sharing that albino alligator on Facebook really worked. A local art gallery had sold one of my junk-metal sculptures (that I'd had forever) and sent a check. I told Ginnie about sharing the albino alligator and she poo-pooed it, preferring to trust in God also. Ginnie had just pulled a pan of chocolate chip cookies out of the oven, so I didn't press the issue. When it comes to chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven (that means those chocolate chips are warm and gooey) or proving a point, I'll take chocolate chip cookies any day.
“Everything eventually sells.” I've been told this by long-time artists and it's true. You hang onto something long enough, someone will eventually buy it. Recently, Ginnie and I were set up in Van Buren County at Tim and Kim's Bloom and Bark. I hauled all my old junk-metal sculptures there, some I've had for almost as long as Ginnie and I have lived on the Empty Nest Farm (eight years), like the Empty Ness Monster. I nearly gave myself another hernia from loading the sculptures onto the trailer, but I got'er done, by golly.
So, while Tim Blair was giving-glass blowing demonstrations, Ginnie and I, along with a dozen or so other vendors, ate earth-oven baked bread, with home-made jam, and sold stuff. But my big sculptures, like the “Empty Ness Monster,” “Charlotte the Spider” and “Pheasants Forever,” were still unsold. I really didn't want to load them on the trailer again, and risk a hernia, so I made Tim and Kim and another vendor an offer they couldn't refuse. Half price. Bam! They were gone. So, when you're visiting Bloom and Bark, say hi to the Empty Ness Monster and Charlotte the Spider, along with Walter the Wise Owl. Everything eventually sells, (if you reduce the price by half).
We sailed home a lot lighter than when we went (thank goodness). We stopped at the Mt. Hamill Tap in Mt. Hamill for chicken. Man-oh-man, do they make great fried chicken on Wednesday, Friday and Saturdays. I swear, there were more people at the Mt. Hamill Tap than live in Mt. Hamill! If you see an albino alligator, share it, but trust in God.
Have a good story? Call or text Curt Swarm in Mt. Pleasant at 319-217-0526, email him at curtswarm@yahoo.com, or visit his website at www.empty-nest-words-photos-and-frames.com
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