Subzero temps and subzero common sense

You know it’s cold when you’re cleaning your windows in the living room and the spray freezes on the glass. You also know it’s time to reseal the windows.
You know it’s cold when you go to the post office in a sleeveless hoodie and shorts and your dashboard thermometer reads -13. You also know you’re an idiot. My brother wears shorts to work every day, so what does that say about him?
Athletes get into ice baths and that’s supposed to be good for you, so I figured I would be ok running the trash out and just decided to jump in the truck my brother let me borrow after crashing mine into a pole.
I was busy working around the house doing chores and didn’t want to stop to go prepare for the weather when I was just going down the street. That’s when I realized it was too cold to clean windows.
Anyway, I drove the six blocks to the post office and then jogged up the ramp and was thinking, “People are driving by probably thinking you’re an idiot. Well, they’re not wrong". I slipped in quickly and quietly to grab the week’s mail out of the box. Wouldn’t you know it, I run into a familiar face who looks me up and down and I’m sure had an inkling to smack some sense into me.
Life is tough when you're old and cold.
Everything old and cold is measured against what is Iowa. I remember it being this cold and snowy when I was in high school and it didn’t bother me one bit. I went to one of the only schools in the area where we sat by the radio after it snowed waiting to hear West Burlington is cancelled for the day………it never happened in the 13 years that I attended school.
Now we cancel even if it’s cold. We had diesel buses and they started. One of the few times we canceled was when the heat in the school went out. Never because of snow because, believe it or not, most people walked to school back then. So we put on a coat and some gloves and off we went.
But Friday and Saturday were legit cold. My door locks tend to stiffen up when it’s really cold and I have to use both hands to get the door open. The addition that was put on the house in the ‘70s leaves the kitchen and dining areas a little colder than the rest of the house. So, when it’s this cold I have to manipulate the vents to allow a little more warm air into that part of the house.
Now I have to shovel, which is always good on the back. This time the snow is so light because of the frigid temperatures that I can use a leaf blower to save some time and disc degeneration. It also saves some finger and hand damage. I shovel a very specific way that involves shoveling like a plow. I just keep pushing the shovel all the way down the sidewalk making a patch without lifting and tossing all the time. Sometimes you just can't avoid it, but when you plow-shovel, the snow just falls to the side. So, you just keep going back and forth until the walk is clear.
Well, when you hit a crack that you aren’t anticipating, if you’re going fast enough, it will crimple your hand and run the shovel handle right into your solar plexus, taking your wind away. I’m getting pretty good at knowing where the cracks are, but sometimes I get surprised and that hurts a bit.
I’m way, way better at sitting on the sofa and looking out at the cold. I have to admit it was very pretty this time. Light snow randomly sprinkling the community and blowing about. The view from Turnwater on Saturday was gorgeous with the BNSF Bridge in the background and the leafless Illinois bluffs across the frozen Mississippi. And the Hawaiian Chicken sandwich was good, but you gotta try the Roasted Red Pepper soup. Phenomenol on a subzero day.
So our hemisphere is clearly tilting away from the sun, but as with all things, it will cycle back to spring and then summer when we’ll be complaining that it’s incredibly hot.
But, until then, I’ll think twice about a sleeveless hoodie and shorts when there are negative windchills, and not applying liquid to windows even if it’s all for the greater good – But that’s Beside the Point.
Chuck Vandenberg is editor and co-owner of Pen City Current and can be reached at  Charles.V@PenCityCurrent.com .