The right place... the right time

Sometimes people just get put in our paths.
Over the last five years through Feb. 20, fate, or God, or whatever force, entity, or being that may be in play, I’ve had people put in my path that have profoundly affected my life. Sometimes for just a few minutes, sometimes for a few hours, and sometimes for as long as they’ll have you.
Friday night someone else was put back on my path. Names don’t matter here because the value in the discussion is how this person came at the right time, and essentially out of nowhere.
Five years ago Thursday we lost Kelsey. I tend to turtle a lot in February. Stick to myself, process, get out for work and get back home. Therapy is a part of this process, of course. Even my ongoing course of therapy is with someone that was put in front of me at just the right time, from a place I didn't expect.
If anything comes from this read over coffee on Sunday, I hope it’s to move you to think about the people who have appeared in your life at times when you weren’t expecting someone, but needed someone. People who hopefully have earned the designation "friend".
I was in the middle of a rare Friday where I didn’t have to leave in the evening to cover a sports event. There was no basketball or wrestling so I was finding myself with the remote and some mesquite chicken breasts I heated up in the air fryer - roasted root vegetables and cottage cheese. Arranged neatly on the plate, I moved to the living room and sat next to the parakeets. I’ve just noticed today that they go to their feeders when I’m eating. They won’t say “Good morning”, but they’ll wait for me to eat, to eat. Birds.
Anyway, I get a message about a work issue and the message turned into phone call. We talked about a local issue and ended the call shortly. After a couple hours, we touched base again and the conversation turned to a discussion on Kelsey.
We talked about what role God plays in loss. Is it mourning, a plan, a calling...? Where do those answers come from? The conversation isn’t fodder for a Sunday morning chat with readers, but the fact that the conversation took place on a day when I needed it to take place is the point of this very random tapping.
Why, when I’m deep in the middle of another tug-of-war with my faith, does this random person get the inclination to call me? Sure, Occam’s Razor says it’s just coincidence. That would be the simplest answer when everything is factored in. That’s legit.
Another possibility is that friendships last and this was part of a cosmic rotation that happened when I was in the right place at the right time. I know the target audience for my Sunday ramblings is the 35 and up crowd, but I would hope this Sunday’s is read by more younger readers.
People come and people go in our lives, but when we respect those comings and goings and nurture them a little, you never know when a reconnection will happen at just the right time.
When you get into the second half of your life, you tend to glance back frequently at those friendships and ask yourself if you did enough to make them last. Or did we sacrifice them for something that may or may not have been worth it?
I used to tell Kelsey the investment in friendships has to have a return. Is that value of return worth the effort you’re putting in? If it is – hang in there. If it isn’t – get out.
Here's a great example of how working a friendship over time, whatever time that may be, is something that may be worth it in the end. And usually is.
I get a call on a very quiet Friday night for a conversation around news, but then it turns to very apropos counsel that hits right at the heart of where my brain is. I don't think that happens randomly if the friendship wasn’t cultivated. Friendships are hard. They take work. They take patience. They take timing and flexibility. But at the end of the day like a money tree, or a big pot of jasmine, you get interrupted some day at the blossom that’s emerged.
Odds are very good these friendships rarely get to full bloom to carry the metaphor a little further. But it’s the growth that can hold the most magic. Especially if you're always learning how to make things grow, but pretty clumsy in the process.
This Sunday when I’m thinking hard about Lee and Taylor and Kelsey, and even myself, I want to offer a hefty pat on the chest to the friends that have been there for me over the past decade. I won’t name you all because I’ll absolutely forget someone. If you checked in on me over the past five years, you hold a special place right next to Kelsey’s in the safe of my soul.
And for the friend that called, I didn’t get through Den of Thieves 2, but that’s Beside the Point.
Chuck Vandenberg is editor and co-owner of Pen city Current and can be reached at Charles.V@PenCityCurrent.com.